Bratty First-born Child Strikes from Afar

So, for those of you who have already forgotten what I did for Christmas: I was visiting my mom, Sal, in Maryland, as were my 19-year old sister Sarah (the useless one)(she is still there by the way, the lucky thing), and my 26-year old brother Than (the sleeper). It was fun. We all gave each other lots of grief and a couple presents, as usual my mom bore the brunt of the teasing but that's because we love her the most...

Anyway. Today I get this phone call:

Sarah: Hey Court (audible sigh). Sal wants to know if you ate half a fig bar.

Me, the Bratty First-Born Child: OMG. That was totally me! I had half the day after Christmas and put the other half back in the box. Ha! Is she freaking out?

Sarah: Yeah she is rampaging. She spent the last 10 minutes accusing me of doing it but then she was like "Go call your SISTER!! See if SHE did it!!!" So here I am.

Me: Well it's not like I took a bite. I broke it. Someone could have eaten the other half.

As I have indicated in previous conversations, my mom goes nuts with kitchen items. Deservedly so, because each of her kids has some annoying habits. We all stand with the fridge door open, although none of us see what's so bad about that, but she hates it. Nathaniel doesn't like throwing away containers so if there is one sip or one bite of something left, he probably did it. Sarah pours glasses of juice, drinks half, and puts the other half in the fridge. Ostensibly, it's for later. I like to eat apples but if I get one that I don't really like, I just put it in the fridge with one bite out of it. Someone else might want it, right?

So yeah, I ate half a fig bar. And I didn't even intend it to be a let's-annoy-Sal plot! Bonus!