The Latest Reasons...

I called my brother yesterday to catch up, since we hadn't talked in like 3 days.

Me: You want to hear the latest two reasons why I am dumb?

Than: No, but go ahead.

Me: WELL, first of all, last week I drove home from a bike ride and accidentally left my gel flask in the side pocket of the driver door in my car, then this morning I was like "why isn't the stupid door opening?!" and finally I wrestled it open and there's this sticky mass of energy gel all along the base of the door. I guess it all leaked out of the flask and through the holes in the bottom of the pocket and down to the base of the door. But I don't have time to clean it until tomorrow or the next day.

Than: Smooth move, ex-lax. What was your other genius maneuver?

Me: Somehow I stabbed my lip with my fork while eating dinner! The fork tine went right through the skin! Can you believe it?

Than: Oh jesus. Yes, I can. Don't go telling people that story. And by the way, I have a photo I'm going to email you in the morning.

And here's what just arrived in my inbox: