Made Me Laugh

"This porridge is TOO COLD!"
-Kelly Benefits' Johnny Sundt, to someone who was complaining...

"The bums drive me nuts! I mean, you drive down any street in my neighborhood and you have to look out so you don't hit some dude hauling a trash can in a shopping cart with sleeping bags or whatever down the center of the street! But now I feel like a bitchy white chick. I mean, it's like, whoa I have to dodge the bum on my way to my MASSAGE. Poor me."
-me ranting and raving about Oakland tonight whilst getting my, ahem, second massage of the week

"You girls all made all your special mix bottles with your names all over them, and then all any of you asked for was Coke! For all 4 feed laps!"
-Mike S. after the Sunset Road Race at Redlands. He had to send Sharon out to knock on neighborhood doors to see if anyone had coke, we ran out so fast!

"Hey! I listen to my iTunes out loud at work!"
-my brother who says he has good taste but in fifth grade he listened to Bette Midler for like 3 weeks straight

And here's one that I supposedly said during a phone conversation last week but I have NO RECOLLECTION of making such an assertion... nevertheless I have not yet heard the end of it!:

"I'm a hot commodity right now."