Breakdowns - what to do?!
I am not talking about my car breaking down, btw I am still not driving that thing until the snow goes away.
No, I am talking about mental breakdowns before/during/after/because of workouts. Cycling and running are going along swimmingly for me, but swimming is not. For some reason I have cried in the pool during every single workout over the past 2 weeks (the mere duration of this rules out PMS as a possible cause!). It's stupid because I know I am improving, my times are getting better and my stroke is feeling smoother and I generally know I have left my little November-December plateau behind.
So why do I keep freaking out?
Freakout Scenario #1: I gaze across the other lanes as I put on my cap and goggles, see people doing 50's twice as fast as I do, and I just stand there motionless then go back in the locker room and call one of 3 people and cry about how I suck and there are currently like 5 chicks in the pool who do not.
Freakout Scenario #2: I decide it's high time I learn flip turns/backstroke/butterfly kick/anything other than freestyle and my version of "breastroke". So I grab Greg, make him give me a demonstration, spend 2 minutes trying to imitate him, then just stand there motionless in the water trying to hold back tears of frustration at not being perfect, stubbing my toes on the wall, inhaling water, etc.
Freakout Scenario #3: I see a spider on the deck and start screaming and run into the locker room.
Freakouts have happened TOO MUCH recently. I think this is a sign that I need to change things up - go back to swimming in the afternoon, when there are usually only one or two other swimmers and they are pretty chill. And if I go after work, when I am not pressed for time, I will be more inclined to set aside time for skills practices rather than just cramming as much yardage in before work as possible. I'll go to the pool with a set plan of what I am going to do, rather than just going by what Greg is doing. And I'll stop and remember that I am a million times huger than a spider before I set the lifeguards into rescue-the-screamer mode.
No, I am talking about mental breakdowns before/during/after/because of workouts. Cycling and running are going along swimmingly for me, but swimming is not. For some reason I have cried in the pool during every single workout over the past 2 weeks (the mere duration of this rules out PMS as a possible cause!). It's stupid because I know I am improving, my times are getting better and my stroke is feeling smoother and I generally know I have left my little November-December plateau behind.
So why do I keep freaking out?
Freakout Scenario #1: I gaze across the other lanes as I put on my cap and goggles, see people doing 50's twice as fast as I do, and I just stand there motionless then go back in the locker room and call one of 3 people and cry about how I suck and there are currently like 5 chicks in the pool who do not.
Freakout Scenario #2: I decide it's high time I learn flip turns/backstroke/butterfly kick/anything other than freestyle and my version of "breastroke". So I grab Greg, make him give me a demonstration, spend 2 minutes trying to imitate him, then just stand there motionless in the water trying to hold back tears of frustration at not being perfect, stubbing my toes on the wall, inhaling water, etc.
Freakout Scenario #3: I see a spider on the deck and start screaming and run into the locker room.
Freakouts have happened TOO MUCH recently. I think this is a sign that I need to change things up - go back to swimming in the afternoon, when there are usually only one or two other swimmers and they are pretty chill. And if I go after work, when I am not pressed for time, I will be more inclined to set aside time for skills practices rather than just cramming as much yardage in before work as possible. I'll go to the pool with a set plan of what I am going to do, rather than just going by what Greg is doing. And I'll stop and remember that I am a million times huger than a spider before I set the lifeguards into rescue-the-screamer mode.
Labels: enjoy the blog, freakout, nonsense
posted by Courtenay at 1/07/2008
5 Comments:
It sounds as though greg is like me in that he learned to swim before he remembers learning to learn...
we are usually the worst teachers.
You need to go to some intermediate swim lessons, there are plenty of drills to teach you how to "learn" other strokes and not just workout. Prob some online tutorials for it too.
I was a swim lesson instructor for 5 years and it was really hard at first to teach because I never remembered learning. Sometimes the crappy swimmer is the best teacher because they remember learning the strokes. I was not allowed to teach the intermediate and advanced classes for a few years even though I was the best swimmer by far on staff....
I wish you still lived close, because I used to make a killing on adult private lessons, and could use the extra cash to buy another toy right about now....
It was good for a laugh though, as I could vision greg doing the "like this" *perfect stroke* and you doing the "like this?" *too many pictured memories for that description*
AH Humility!! So hard to swallow when your throat is full of self-consciousness! I vote for the change you suggest! Know thyself, and thy limits eh?
I had month or so where I would try not to cry in the locker room before I did my workouts. But one thing that also really helped was reading a couple interviews with former Olympians about how at some point they were the slowest people on the teams (one a swimmer and another a runner), and how they were just dedicated to taking the small steps towards improvement. Eventually it will pass. Feeling pressed for time makes it hard for me, too, but you know that putting the time in to learn how to do it right will be worth it!
I was the slowest swimmer on my high school JV team. My senior year, I vowed to swim varsity, so I joined the year round team thinking it would make me stronger, and I still didn't make it on a technical level, 'cept my coach felt sorry for me and let me anyway. On the age group team, they made me swim with the little kids, and I was still the slowest. But the kids were really nice to me so I just kept coming back. I swam all through college and beyond. No one ever knew that I was once one of the slowest swimmers of all the East Bay Athletic League, but I am very proud of that fact. You just need to swim with little kids, I think. Or swim like a little kid. You don't have to compare yourself to anybody.
thanks for all the suggestions! i am feeling better already.
but i do need to stick up for greg though, he is a good teacher despite the fact that he learned to swim at age infant or something. the problem arises when both of our perfectionist sides emerge, and when i interrupt his workout to ask for help ;)
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